Ass Hell's First Loss

So Ass Hell basically gave the game away to the Jets and the Old Man in the Football Mountain (burn!). Considering last year we were winning by 30,00 pts a game, anything less should be considered a loss for Ass Hell.

Also, he looks like a retarded Christian Bale.

Look, maybe you think I should take it easy on Ass Hell, but he is ruining a dynasty as we speak - I can literally see it with my eyes! I texted Coach today that exact thing this morning: Srsly AH is rng evryth! Gis-omg ur nipples r so fine howdoisend 2 diff txts?

Coach seemed pretty impressed with my insights and is apparently getting a new private number to keep our plans for Ass Hell top secretomundo.

Anyway back to Ass Hell looking like an ass. Take a look at this quote from the ESPN's, brah:

"At the end of the day, you've got to have more points than the other team and that's what we did, so I'm satisfied," Cassel said. "I didn't have too many butterflies going out. I've been in the system for four years, so I'm confident I know I can run it."

What a board-short load of wackness, amigos. First of all he hasn't been in any system for four years, because for two of them I made sure to teach him the wrong calls, signs, and hot routes. Hey, that's just my way of saying, "I hate your existence." As for butterflies, I once caught two of them when I was in a field shooting a Stetson ad. True story.

This was my favorite line from the game, courtesy of His Ass Helliness:

"Let's hope that a lot of quarterbacks do that throughout the rest of the year," Cassel said of Favre's interception.

Ummm Ass Hell? "Let's hope that a lot of quarterbacks do that throught the rest of the year" IS MY LINE. Just because I was pointing at your sister when I said it, doesn't mean it's yours to use for anything else.